Staying Afloat… And Other Things on My Mind…
I know this is not a new article yet, but I am taking two extra classes and have almost finished one of the classes in a week. Plus, I am working on my Anthropology class work. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe what I am feeling right now. I am trying to finish my bachelor’s degree as quickly as possible, and it’s a lot of work. Plus, I am trying to help my parents with things as best as possible. But I am just one person, and it is challenging to care for anyone with stage 4 cancer. Especially when you have another parent who is disabled. I don’t have help from anyone else, either. I should, but I don’t know if you understand what I am saying. But sometimes it doesn’t work the way you need it to. Sometimes, others’ perceptions of reality differ from what they were and were long ago. I have no hate towards anyone. I’m too tired for that type of thing. I just let go of everything and walked away from a lot. I have given others a second chance because they were such a massive part of my life that I felt a hole in my heart without them around.
I think once my mom’s cancer spread I started to look at things and life a lot differently. I became a little bit more forgiving about some things but I became more depressed too. I realized that I had to rescue her because Dad couldn’t do it like before and nobody was lining up for the job. My mom has tried to help others out but the favor wasn’t returned. I became more protective of her. I became that way over someone else, too. But I tried to say something to protect them, and I was in the wrong. I was shunned, and I was always there for them. I decided to no longer protect them and walk away. I have been in a romantic relationship where I built him back up, and he repaid me by cheating and being abusive. I am in a relationship now that isn’t ideal. I hope for some changes because I can’t stay in a long-distance relationship much longer…