With any chronic illness there’s challenges. There’s relationship challenges because the other person doesn’t always understand what you are feeling or going through. Those are exhausting challenges. I think I stayed alone by choice for 5 years because of my health and I wanted to be alone. Now I am almost done with my bachelor’s degree and I want to go on to the law part of school. With my limitations having a solid foundation is important to me. School is extremely challenging especially when you are in your 40s. I don’t know how many times I have thought to myself that I should have done all of this at once when I was younger. I have 3 degrees already but it took me 12 years to get my last two done.
I have two terms left,, and I will have my bachelor’s degree in Public Health. I never thought I would be able to do this. The classes are challenging, and I have refused to give up, though I have been encouraged to do so. But I am far from done with school. My next step is to get my Juris Doctor, which takes 3 years. I go full-time, and I have to pass the bar. Yikes!! However, a public health degree is hard, so I think I can do it, too. I want to help women and domestic violence and other things. I want to be able to do something good in this world. I would love to open a nonprofit one day for women who need a safe place to go when they are in danger from a spouse or partner. Keeping them safe and helping them get out of alone would be great. Soon the next chapter is going to begin in my life…
Yes, the dreaded C word was bound to come up sooner rather than later. There’s not just one out there; you can’t always see them. Some are more painful than others, and some have more dangerous outcomes. Mine isn’t as dangerous, but I have acquired some things that can be. Fibromyalgia is what I was diagnosed with 17 years ago, and it was tough to get diagnosed with.
It comes with so many strange symptoms and co-conditions. Then you have widespread pain that you can’t explain and is challenging to treat. I think I have spent so many years thinking I must be crazy. I have even asked my doctor when I started having problems with my heart. What they don’t prepare you for is the isolation of chronic illness.
Because if you have one, a lot of people don’t want to be friends with a sick person. For one, people tend to think you are faking it for attention, you are lazy, or a hypochondriac. Personally, I am none of the above, but I have been told some interesting things to my face. And chances are, if you are reading this, you have to. And I am sure there are people like that in the world, but we are not like them, right?!
So, it does get rather exhausting dealing with toxic behavior from people. But I have learned that I don’t need them, and I would rather have one or two really wonderful friends than 10 crummy ones. If you are at the beginning of your journey with chronic illness you are most definitely not alone. There’s so many of us in the community to reach out to. All you need to do is just comment or contact me privately.
When I decided to come back and create another website, I thought about what I wanted it to be about. There are a million different ones out there, and I don’t want to constantly develop unique content. I don’t have the time or energy to do that anymore. So, I decided to write about what most people try to keep hidden, which is chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, mental illness, and risks of domestic abuse. I deal with all the above and have been through domestic abuse starting as early as my teens.
But, I have continued working on my degree. I have managed to maintain a healthy relationship with someone, and I have friends. But for a very long time, I tried to hide the chronic illness and fatigue like it was a dirty secret. I think a lot of women out there might do the same thing. Because, as women, we are not allowed to be tired or sick.
It’s like we are considered lazy or weak. But let’s face it: this is not the 1950s anymore, and we don’t need to lurk about in the shadows or anywhere else. Women hold an enormous amount of strength even when they don’t realize it. My past experiences that were not pleasant are behind me and I have learned lessons from them. I will continue to talk about chronic illness and everything else in hopes it brings up more awareness. My page is not for pity from anyone it’s in hopes that it helps someone out there who is really struggling right now.
For some people who read this they already know everything about me. So this post may be a bit boring. Something might be a little surprising. One thing I never discuss is David. He is off limits because I am selective on who I share my really personal life with. So don’t expect that on here. Anyway, I am coming up on the end of another exciting term. I have compiled one of my final projects. I had gotten one assignment behind in each class which I try not to let myself do. My advisor reached out to both of my advisors. And in my personal life I am very open about my health but in other areas I am private about it. I shared information with my advisor and I didn’t expect her to share it with my professors because I didn’t share it with them. So I got an extension for both assignments. University policy is a 10% reduction in grade on the assignment. But I received no deduction on one of those assignments. I couldn’t help but wonder why. She did the opposite of policy. I know my paper wasn’t that riveting lol. But I am not going to question her and take the A. Getting my bachelor’s in public health is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I take the little victories when and where I can.
I have finished the site for now. From here I will build it up as time allows. I have two final term papers to write by next week for my public health classes. I have to put them together and finish my research on both of them to make them more sound. I have yet to do this so I am going to bed and going to start on at least one of those in the morning. Well later in the morning. It’s almost 2 am now.
This is my first post at my newly opened blog. I typically post on social media regularly about my daily life. But I have chose to move to a different area because I plan on doing a lot of things away from social media upon graduation from college. For those who don’t know much about me I will be telling you more about what I have been doing in college and what I hope to do. For now things will look a little bare but I will add things as time allows. I’m almost at the end of my junior year and I graduate in the winter. It is hell with papers for classes.